When Scripture declares that “Love never fails,” we must pause and ask an important question: What kind of love is being spoken of here?
Over time, I’ve come to understand that the word love in Scripture is not shallow or singular. It carries depth, intention, and distinction. In the Greek language, two words help us understand this clearly: Phileo and Agape.
Phileo flows from the human side of life. Agape flows from the divine side of life. And the difference between them explains much of what we see unfolding in our relationships and in the world today.
Over time, I’ve come to understand that the word love in Scripture is not shallow or singular. It carries depth, intention, and distinction. In the Greek language, two words help us understand this clearly: Phileo and Agape.
Phileo flows from the human side of life. Agape flows from the divine side of life. And the difference between them explains much of what we see unfolding in our relationships and in the world today.
Understanding the Difference
1) Phileo love requires mutual appreciation. It thrives when both people feel valued and affirmed. Agape love does not depend on mutuality. Appreciation can be completely one-sided, yet love remains.
2) Phileo love is conditional. When expectations are unmet, the relationship often ends. Agape love carries no strings, no hidden contracts, and no demands for repayment.
3) Phileo needs emotional reward to survive. Without it, the love fades. Agape flourishes regardless of reward. If anything good comes back, it is simply a bonus not the source.
So now comes the honest question we must all ask ourselves: Which kind of love are we operating in?
When we look around today, we see broken marriages, shattered relationships, and increasing cruelty. Too often, love is offered only after it is received “I will love you if you love me first.” That mindset creates fragile bonds and conditional commitments. This is not the love Jesus spoke of when He said, “As I have loved you, so you must love one another,” He was not speaking of Phileo love. He was speaking of Agape love (see the Gospel of John 13:34). Jesus loved first. He loved fully. He loved sacrificially without waiting to be loved in return.
When we look around today, we see broken marriages, shattered relationships, and increasing cruelty. Too often, love is offered only after it is received “I will love you if you love me first.” That mindset creates fragile bonds and conditional commitments. This is not the love Jesus spoke of when He said, “As I have loved you, so you must love one another,” He was not speaking of Phileo love. He was speaking of Agape love (see the Gospel of John 13:34). Jesus loved first. He loved fully. He loved sacrificially without waiting to be loved in return.
That is why Scripture also tells us in First Epistle to the Corinthians 13:8 that “Love never fails.” Agape never fails because it is not built on human performance, but on divine choice.
A Picture of Agape in marriage is from the writer Ruth Calkin beautifully captures this kind of love, she wrote:
Marriage means putting up with personality weaknesses, accepting criticism, and giving each other the freedom to fail without judgment. It means sharing deep fears, turning self-pity into laughter, and taking a walk together to regain control. Marriage means gentleness and joy, toughness and endurance, fairness/forgiveness and a staggering amount of sacrifice. Marriage means learning when to say nothing, when to keep talking, and when to step back. It means admitting, “I can’t be God to you, I need Him too.” Marriage means you are the other part of me, and I am the other part of you. We will face everything together and never consider walking away. Marriage means… us.
A Picture of Agape in marriage is from the writer Ruth Calkin beautifully captures this kind of love, she wrote:
Marriage means putting up with personality weaknesses, accepting criticism, and giving each other the freedom to fail without judgment. It means sharing deep fears, turning self-pity into laughter, and taking a walk together to regain control. Marriage means gentleness and joy, toughness and endurance, fairness/forgiveness and a staggering amount of sacrifice. Marriage means learning when to say nothing, when to keep talking, and when to step back. It means admitting, “I can’t be God to you, I need Him too.” Marriage means you are the other part of me, and I am the other part of you. We will face everything together and never consider walking away. Marriage means… us.
Agape love is a choice.
It is not passive.
It is not weak.
It is powerful, deliberate, and transforming.
So love everyone with an open heart, not because they deserve it but because love given freely never fails the one who gives it.
It is not passive.
It is not weak.
It is powerful, deliberate, and transforming.
So love everyone with an open heart, not because they deserve it but because love given freely never fails the one who gives it.
God bless.
LIFE'S TESTS AND TESTIMONIES 